I live in an incredibly noisy place. And I have a noisy brain. There is nothing I can do to influence the former, no plea I can make to my neighbors, no legislation I can enact or enforce. All I can do is be quiet myself, and that sometimes requires assistance. Long hours of sleep can help, though the outside noises make that impossible here. Getting sick can force it. Going away to a calmer environment (if there is time and money for the trip) can give brief relief. But the best way for me, is, and has always been, to read.
My folks taught me to read before kindergarten, and I was fortunate to start my schooling in a district that focused on reading and writing skills. Very fortunate. Because the habit had already taken hold by the time my family moved, in the middle of my second grade year, to a different state, a different school, a different teacher.
Mrs. Kelly.
The new school put its attention more on arithmetic skills in that grade, and mine were not as advanced as was my reading. WIth a little extra attention, I probably could have caught up. And I did get extra attention. Mrs. Kelly focused on my deficient math skills, bringing her primary teaching tools in to the fray. She lavished ridicule and humiliation on me so effectively that, 40-odd years later, when I was finishing my B.A., I almost blacked out in the class I took to fulfill the mathematics requirement.
But she couldn't similarly cripple my reading, because I already knew how to do it. But she could punish proficiency. In the silent reading period, she snatched the book out of my hands when she discovered me "reading ahead" to the next stories while the other kids were still stuck in the single one she had assigned. "Just who do you think you are?" she demanded. "How dare you read ahead?" The other kids turned to stare while she stalked away, leaving me to sit at my desk, bookless, still, and silent.
I don't know what she thought she was teaching me, but here is what I learned: it was dangerous to not be good at something, and equally dangerous to be very good at something. Unacceptable to fall behind, offensive to leap ahead. Stupid - did I mention she called me "stupid"? - to be slow, and punishable to be fast. Though she was not the only adult whose bullying I would endure in my life, her "lessons" were long-lasting.
But she never cured me of my addiction to stories, to tales, to dreaming in print. In fact, she probably drove me to take that drug more often. I became one of those girls who "always has her nose in a book".
Now, some of you have been sweetly scraunching at me, wanting to know why I have not written more, or posted more on Facebook, or on my website. Well, I have needed to be Elsewhere. Here is the list of my recent - and exquisite - shelters from the storms.
One of our Thursdays is Missing by Jasper Fforde (newest installment of the Thursday Next series, catnip for literature lovers)
Moonwise by Greer Gillman (A Child ballad in prose. No one else writes like Ms. Gilman. I finished it, ensorcelled, and promptly read it again)
Little, Big by John Crowley ("the greatest fantasy ever written by an American"
The Underground Church by Robin Meyers (what might happen if what Jesus said to do, and what he did, was what we do)
The World Without Us by Alan Weisman (how we hurt the earth, and what would happen here if we simply vanished)
Homer's Odyssey by Gwen Cooper (a joyous and true cat story)
My profound thank you to the authors, to public libraries, to independent booksellers and those who sell used books, and to my sister, who loaned me Homer's Odyssey.
Hi. I'm back.
Glad you've been gone for a good reason, glad you're back! I had a 2nd grade nemesis named Miss Butler. I had learned to read before I started in school and could read way beyond "my level". Miss Butler was having none of that, everyone had to literally stay on the same page. Being bored with it all, I rebelled by underachieving. Miss Butler tried to convince my parents I was mentally retarded (!). They had me tested and found out I was anything but. The psychologist had a word with miss Butler and I was allowed to "read ahead". My nose has remained buried in books to this day some fifty odd years later.
So glad also to see you're a fellow read-a-book-twicer when the book requires/entices an immediate second read.
Posted by: Sverre Johan Svendsen | March 25, 2012 at 05:24 PM
Yes, I often feel bereft at the close of a beloved book. The first time I finished reading "The Lord of the Rings", I cried for three days because I missed those characters and their world so deeply, and then started again at page one. That Mordor was more endurable than the suburb we came back to after life abroad speaks volumes about my senior year in high school.
It's always good to discover a parallel traveler.
Blessings, Laurel
Posted by: Laurel Massé | March 25, 2012 at 07:47 PM
Laurel,
Your story rings so true with me as well. Never great in math but understood the depth of characters of a story in a way that the rest of my (bottom level) high school class could never grasp. Music moved me in ways that I could never explain. Teachers were never very patient with us back then.
As I look back now at those years I turned out OK, one of the most successful people of my class. In a way I believe that God takes care us. I "felt" different but special. I knew that I had plenty to give.
My focus now is to make my children feel gifted. They are wonderful people now. We gave them that great foundation and are watching them grow and prosper. Both are avid readers. One has ADHD and the other Dyslexia.
Some weeks my reading is confined to the one hour of Perpetual Adoration. My current book of choice that I have read about 20 times is The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom.
I understand the noise as well. There's nothing like a good read to take you away.
Glad to see you back.
Your friend,
C. J.
Posted by: C. J. Tuminello | March 26, 2012 at 10:28 PM
Thank heaven, and about time as well. No April fool today.
All best,
Malcolm
Posted by: Malcolm MacLeod, MD | April 01, 2012 at 09:30 PM